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The Underrated Heartache

The Underrated Heartache

they did not tell me it would hurt like this no one warned me about the heartbreak we experience with friends where are the albums i thought there were no songs sung for it i could not find the ballads or read the books dedicated to writing the grief we fall into when...

Radical Acceptance

Radical Acceptance

I learned the term radical acceptance when I was facilitating a Dialectical Behavior Therapy group with woman in early recovery from addiction.  Asking the women to fully accept the reality of their situation seemed like a terrible thing to ask of them, because it...

Holiday Grief and Planning Ahead

Holiday Grief and Planning Ahead

“Grief sucks.” – Everyone Ever This post is for you if you are grieving the loss of a loved one.  Let’s acknowledge that this year may be different and will likely be tough.  We can also hope that it will be alright, or even great! But that word “tough” may barely...

The Shadow Personality

The Shadow Personality

I like seeing Halloween photos appear on my Facebook or Instagram newsfeed. People look happy dressing up in costume and being playful together.  I think one reason Halloween is enjoyable is because it is a time that the Shadow is socially acceptable, appreciated, and...

Notice Your Progress

Notice Your Progress

Sometimes we want fast results. This week I woke up to a chilled bedroom.  The “Thermoblaster” gas heater in my room (I find the name hilarious) was not working. The pilot light would spark but not catch; therefore, no heat.  I called the landlord and had someone come...

Coping with Distress in the Aftermath of a Shooting

Coping with Distress in the Aftermath of a Shooting

"Watch the pounding surf. Watch the waves lap against the shore, their beginnings somewhere far out to sea, their beginnings in a storm we might never see. Know your oneness with those waves, with the water of the seas."  - Melody Beattie, Journey to the Heart You are...

Grief and Poor Concentration

Grief and Poor Concentration

In the midst of any sort of grief, your ordinary life can feel like a bizarre twilight zone. I was known for being ditzy as a teen - I was up in my head a lot of the time.  Later, I was glad to find that I am smart and I can focus.  Learning about common reactions to...

Men in Counseling

Men in Counseling

Why are most men averse to seeking therapy and what can we do about it? According to SAMSA (Substance Abuse Mental Health Services Administration) about 14% of American men report facing a mental health challenge.  The 2014 Men’s Health Forum reveals that 4 out of 5...

Finding Meaning

Finding Meaning

One of the most uniquely human attributes is that we are meaning-making-machines. Let's use it to our advantage. Show us the moon covering up the sun for several seconds - creating darkness in the middle of the day - and we will allocate meaning to it.   This behavior...

Ambiguous Loss – Some Coping Skills

Ambiguous Loss – Some Coping Skills

“Let that which stood in front go behind, Let that which was behind advance to the front.” – Walt Whitman The term ambiguous loss has come to mean less obvious losses.  They are losses related to some level of uncertainty, lack of closure, or a sense of longing.  An...

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